Fear of Failure and Embarrassment

For individuals contemplating a future in real estate investment, or any activity that strays from the dreary mold of mediocre existence, fear of failure is one of the greatest obstacles they face.

When we say that we are “afraid of failure” we are making a broad generalization that glosses over the things that truly worry us.  This fear is paralyzing, and yet, because of its nonspecific and meaningless nature, we struggle to defeat it.

The fear of failure is a vague term that encompasses a broad range of dread and apprehension.   The key to beating it lies in recognizing each of its component terrors, and overcoming them one-by-one.

I want to take a moment to address one of the actual, specific fears included in this pantheon: it is the fear of embarrassment and humiliation.  For many, the fear of losing face in front of others – of being mocked for attempting to achieve something of great importance – is a powerful paralytic.

Consider the true purpose of fear: it is a biological response stimulated by the perception of threat, and enables us to avoid situations or activities that could endanger our lives.  And yet, this important mechanism can be warped to create panic and terror over things that offer no true threat or danger.  Such is the case with our fear of embarrassment.

Has anyone ever died of embarrassment?  Perhaps.  I suppose one could find an example of an individual so overcome with the intense emotions of shame and humiliation that a physical response, such as a heart attack, actually occurred.  Yet, I imagine that these circumstances are rare.  Furthermore, they are entirely the product of the mind; they threaten us only because we believe they can threaten us.

This fear of looking foolish stifles our drive and creative energy.   We wait for others – perhaps friends and family – to give us permission to attempt something new.  We pause, and wait for another to traverse the untested trail, hoping they will validate our belief that treasure is waiting at the end; in so doing we forfeit our claim to the prize we intuitively sensed was available.

If you were freed from the shackles of shame and embarrassment, what could you do that you are not currently doing?  Would your decisions be easier, and your view clearer, if outside opinion was irrelevant to your thinking?  How much of your daily routine is determined not by your own desires, but your wish to avoid the critical eye of your peers?

When we learn to recognize the illusory nature of the threat of embarrassment, the windows of possibility will open to us.  Among the fears that contribute to our dread of failure, this is among the greatest.  The peace and confidence you will achieve by relinquishing this unnecessary burden are well worth the effort.

~Christopher Wood